"A woman is like a bar of soap. Her touch is soft. Her smell is pretty. But if you press on her, she bolts out of your hands. And if you step on her, you'll slip and break your bones. My advice? Treat your bar of soap nicely. Long live my country's bars of soap!"

Or within the same essay,

"A woman is like dough. The more you knead her, the tastier she comes out. So my advice is to knead your wife, put the dough in a warm place, and trust in God!"